10/08/09 – Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive #30

So much to be thankful for. So so much. I took the photo above at Stafford several years ago and it just seems to be the right one to head off to night's gratitudes. :)

When I'm ill like this I'm reminded of how thankful I am for my general good health. Today, I need to remind myself of it again because this is really sucking raw and rotten eggs. I've just reached the "no longer a trooper" phase of this illness and I want it to be f-ing done! Colourful...I know. *blush*

Perfect time to remind myself of the things I'm thankful for, yes?

My birthday weekend was truly a miracle of love and planning and kindness and generosity and amazingness. I am overwhelmed by it and moved by it and humbled by it and deeply and truly thankful for it. I so deeply enjoyed being a part of it and reveled in every minute of it. :)

I am one of the luckiest women in the world and I am so blessed to know every single one of you. I do not take that for granted...ever.

So today I sing the gratitudes as follows:

1) I am one of the luckiest women in the world and I am so blessed to know every single one of you. I do not take that for granted...ever.

2) My birthday weekend was truly a miracle of love and planning and kindness and generosity and amazingness. I am overwhelmed by it and moved by it and humbled by it and deeply and truly thankful for it. I so deeply enjoyed being a part of it and reveled in every minute of it. :)

3) That I am finally 40. Not sitting on that evil self-inflicted precipice of "almost 40" with all of the dragons and demons of what I haven't accomplished "by 40" sitting at the bottom taunting me. It seems silly but the " 9" years...really seem to do a number on me. Once I finally reach the 0 years...I seem better equipped to deal. Which isn't to say that I'm not still grappling with a lot of major life issues...it just means that I'm not adding the stress of having to do it by 3 days ago to the mix. Hooray for being 40. Hooray!

4) Eileen, Amy, Carma, Monique, Katie, Cybele & Jen -- THANK YOU!!!! Thank you for taking my birthday out of my hands and giving me such a miraculous weekend. Thank you for loving me so much and for showing me so clearly that I am loved. Thank you. *tears* Thank you.

5) My family. Thank you all so much for coming to celebrate with me. I love the photo above that Carma took of us. So fun! Thank you. Just...thank you. Conrad (my step-dad/father figure) coming was one of the biggest and best surprises ever. I was totally blown away. See my glee below. *grin*

6) Everyone who made it out for whatever part of the weekend the wonderful folks in #3 invited you to. It was such a blessing to see all of you and such a blessing to have the process taken out of my hands. If you weren't invited, I'm sorry, it was an oversight born of being taken care of by friends. :)

7) Amazing conversation and company under a brilliant Harvest Moon. Thank you Colleen and Elliot. That conversation will carry me and my soul for a while. It made me feel vital and alive and excited and limitless. Thank you.

8) My generally good health. I try not to take it for granted. On days like this when I've had a flu beating me mind, body and spirit for 4 days....I'm really reminded of how lucky I am most days of the year. Most days I get to feel okay. Most days I get to be comfortable in my skin. I'm so lucky!

9) For the brilliant story-telling and sharing that came out of my Missing Blackpoint note. Thank you all for sharing your memories and stories too. I'm so moved by your openness and your ability and willingness to play with me. Thank you.

10) For co-workers who are kind...and who sent me home today when they heard me coughing, coughing, coughing at work.

11) Tess...for encouraging me to get a ukelele, and for John at 5th String who helped me to pick one out. She's an Ohana Ukelele and her name is Lilo...she told me. :) I like her. And can already play a song...not well...but I can play a song!!!

12) Amy & Stephi for coming to be with me on Tuesday despite my illness. For loving me gently through my tears and for head pets and hand massages and laughter and the incredible warmth and light of your friendship. Thank you.

13) Leftover Thai food means no cooking when I'm sick. Oh thank goodness for that.

14) Flannel jammies and bunny slippers and a soft fuzzy blue robes. Comforting and curative...I swear it.

15) Baths.....I don't take them often enough because the bathtub in this cottage is ridiculously huge and I feel drought guilt when I fill it, but I decided that my body deserved some love tonight and I am so glad that I chose to love it. (Not in *that* way....get yer minds out of my bathtub! *wink*) I love being in water. SARK says "When Children Are Cranky, Put Them In Water"...I think the same goes for me. It soothes me, calms me, relaxes me, centers me. I feel cradled in it and embraced by it. So good. Yummmmmm.

16) Katie....thank you for popsicles and juice and soup and conversation at a distance. Dance well and joyfully tonight. Know that you're in my heart.

17) POPSICLES!!!! HOORAY FOR POPSICLES!

Ok....I'm just prattling in fevered delirium now. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......

Much love and gratitude to and for you all!
:)
Tanya