Wednesday, November 3, 2010
You know...my rant a couple of weeks ago? It really did me a world of good. I needed to let that out. I needed to be okay with not being okay all of the time. I needed to release my need to always project the happy. And I needed to just be however I was. It has been so freeing to be just as I am ever since. And today? I'm doing really well again...and that? is a cause for a big old YIPPEE! So um, YIPPEE!
There is a lot to be thankful for in my life. Yes, I'm stressed about moving. No, things aren't miraculously grand, but there is a lot of good and I'm deeply thankful for that fact.
I've been really blessed these past few weeks. I'm no longer in limbo with my housing situation and that is a relief. I'm sad to be moving out of my beloved home but movement forward is so much easier than limbo is.
I've had some amazing conversations with some wonderful people in the past few days that have made me realize, once again, how lucky I am in the choices I've made in friends...and also how lucky I am that people choose me as a friend.
I've gotten to go on a last minute whirlwind trip to Disneyland and have it cost me very little to do so thanks to cheap hotels, smart dining options and a friend who made the park possible. I was also gifted with the opportunity to see West Side Story last night and it was a joy to see and the company was great. :)
I'm feeling a little bit nuts because it is Dickens season and I'm packing my home and prepping for fair once again. There are a lot of arenas where this feels like a big unfortunate deja vu, but I'm calmer about it somehow. And because I'm not insane enough, I seem to have decided to try NaNoWriMo for the first time. We'll see how far I get, but so far it is a great exercise if a slightly insane one.
So at the risk of repeating myself, tonight I sing my gratitudes for:
1) Forward movement.
2) Having a housing safety net. :)
3) The trip to Disneyland...for so many reasons. I NEEDED to do something purely for me and for fun before the move and before Dickens started. I'm so thankful to Cybele and J.B. for nudging me to make it happen. And I'm so glad that it was so simple and stress free. Thanks to Marc, Alejandra, Anni and Laura too. Just because I can say thank you. :) And hooray for silly t-shirts that made the park staff laugh. :)
4) Barbara Pond's amazing birthday present to me of Ghost Ship. Dancing without impact (I figured out if I'm careful I can shake my thang without hurting my neck/arm! YAY!) to amazing djs, and crazy shuttle foo, and seeing Michael and Aaron and Corinne and Tuffy and Karryn and Zak there. Hooray! Did I mention that I got to dance? For the first time in MONTHS? I needed that for my spirit. Thank you, Barbara, for a fantastic, soul-healing, dance-possible, amazing time in your wonderful company night. :) And um...hedgehogs. Yeah. ;)
5) A couple of really good and comforting and helpful conversations with Monique in the past couple of weeks. 21 years of friendship. Wow. We need to take our friendship out and get it drunk sometime this year. :)
6) Katie for being Katie.
7) Laura Gregory for being Laura Gregory. :)
8) Once again, an amazing and enlightening tarot reading from Jolie Stevens.
9) A wonderful conversation with Laura Brueckner last night. Thank you, Princess Stalkerina. I'd forgotten how much fun I have with the geeking part of this project...and hadn't realized how much I missed it. It was really good to catch up. :)
10) Knowing that the universe will make this move a good thing for me. Even if I can't see how just now, I'm choosing to trust that there is something good in store.
11) The fact that I'm managing to pack about 3 boxes a night. Which means it is conceivable that I may not drive myself too crazy with this. We'll see. So far it feels like I'm on track.
12) Bill Batty for the boxes. OMG...SUCH a lifesaver with this. THANK YOU!
13) Having done all of my laundry tonight. What a relief. I'm always so happy when it is done. Hooray!
14) Walks on the pier. I've rediscovered my pier these past couple of weeks and it is really remarkable how good that place is for my spirit and my psyche. Yum.
15) Trader Joe's Berry Applesauce cold from the fridge. Yum.
16) That Anni's family are ok post house-fire. I'm so thankful for that fact. Phew. I love you Anni. And I love you Shannon. :)
17) That this weekend is going to be filled with people that I'm happy to be getting to see. Eeeeee!
18) Starting NaNoWriMo. I haven't tried to write fiction really ever as an adult. I'm finding it kind of fun and extremely meditative. I like that most everything else falls away but the story when I'm writing. I will need to write almost double the words tomorrow though because I'm having a hard time keeping my eyes open tonight.
19) Getting my hair cut for the first time since March this weekend was made of happy goodness. I felt weird not going to Annamae, but it was a Groupon thing and it was in Berkeley so I couldn't resist. I'm relieved.
I'm sure there is more, but now I think I'm going to write a little and go to sleep. Hooray!