All photos and content © Tanya Anguita.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Maybe...


Maybe it is time for me to write for me.
Maybe it is time for me to write for others.
Maybe it is time for me to write to free my soul.
Maybe it is time for me to write.

Here I am.

© Tanya Anguita

Friday, June 5, 2009

6/4/09 – Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive #20 -- Picture Heavy



Hello. Here I am again. *waves*

It has been a whirlwind of a week and I haven’t had two minutes to rub together. During the times last weekend when I did have some time, I was busy having fun with Rob at Disneyland and was NOT interested in sitting at a computer. And you know what? I think I’m good with that.

It was a wonderful weekend and a wonderful trip on many, many levels. It was good for my soul, good for our relationship, and good for perspective. It was just plain good all around. Honestly, I wasn’t ready for it to be done. I’m still not ready for it to be done and I’ve been back since Monday. *wry smile*

Re-entry into “normal” life has been very difficult for me. I realized a lot of things as I mourned the end of our weekend and one of them was that I haven’t had a “just go have fun” vacation in years. I’ve never had a pure “down time” adventure before and I need one. My life is too frenetic not to vacate it once in a while.

And I feel a little bit like I have emotional whiplash because I went from 4 days of full time, focused, fun US time to Rob leaving to go up to his family’s property in Montague. We got back Monday, he left Tuesday. *insert cracking whip noise here* I’ve been reeling a little from it, but I’m glad he’s up there helping out his Grandma. She’s having cataract surgery today. Please send her good thoughts.

So yes, re-entry has been difficult, but it is difficult in good ways because I’m recognizing the need for change in my life, and I’m starting to try to figure out how to make change happen in some areas in my life that really need some positive, self-directed change to be made.

It has been a miracle of a week in so many respects and I have so much to be grateful for. My gratitudes for this week/today include:

1) I’m thankful to Rob for choosing to take me with him on his graduation/birthday gift adventure to Disneyland. His mom told him she was giving him money for his graduation/birthday and that he wasn’t allowed to spend it on anything practical so he decided what he most wanted to do was go to Disneyland with me. And we did. What a gift all around. SO thankful. Here he is on the Dumbo ride:



2) I’m incredibly grateful for the reconnection we got to have while we were there and for the good conversations that have come out of that both there and since we’ve been back. :)



3) We…no…let me be honest… *I* haven’t been good about making focused us time happen because of how busy I always am, and that has been detrimental to our relationship. Having the time to reconnect was so good for me/us. I learned that I need to find more time in my schedule for weekends like this last one -- both for my relationship’s sake, and my sanity’s sake. I’m thankful to be figuring that out and thankful to Rob for patiently waiting for me to figure it out. I love you, Sweet One.



4) I’m strangely thankful to and for Disneyland. It was a really a “magic kingdom” for me this past weekend. I don’t ever see myself turning into a “Disney is my life” person, but I definitely see myself trying to get back there with some reasonable regularity. It was such a treat and so much fun to just be a kid all weekend.



California Adventure was pretty fun too!



5) I’m so lucky. Rob is such a good sport. I bought him a silly mouse ears birthday hat and he wore it ALL DAY on his birthday. Evidence is here:



and here:



6) Playing is good for my soul. Allowing myself to just play and not stress or think about the “have to list” is golden. This is us being silly at Rob's Birthday "Character Breakfast" with Stitch:



7) I’m grateful for the questions I’m asking myself because I hope they’ll help me to grow and change. Somehow this photo seems oddly appropriate, or maybe it is just late...



8) Winnie-the-Pooh in all his guises makes my heart happy. I got to have my picture taken with Pooh and Tigger this weekend. I felt like I was 5 years old. Evidence is here:






My mother read “Winnie-the-Pooh” to me as a child and the scene in the book with the Heffalump is one of the earliest memories I have of my mother and me laughing uproariously together. I’ve read it numerous times since, and I learn something new and endearing every time I read it. I love the book first and foremost, and the classic drawings. They are so sweet and simple. That being said, I also have a fondness for the movie version of Pooh and all of the oddness inherent therein. Hooray for Winnie-the-Pooh! Thank you A.A. Milne!

9) The “Hold Hands, Don’t Exercise” tour that Monique, Eileen, Anni & I took a few years ago. I saw this sign over the weekend and had to take a photo in remembrance of our fabulous time together.



I love you women so very deeply! Thank you all for being in my life! Can you believe that was 5 1/2 years ago?

10) I just this minute finished a huge spreadsheet project at work tracking all of the trainings that were done for a specific program we offer to managers and supervisors. I’m both proud of my work and very glad that it is done!

11) Staff meetings happen every other week at my job and are a total farce. As individuals the people in my dept are great. As a group they are frustrating. Our staff meetings sometimes feel like an adult version of “Lord of the Flies” and it is simply ridiculous. People are so invested in being right that they cease to listen. We just finished our bi-weekly staff meeting. I’m so glad that it is over and that I don’t have another one for two weeks. *giggle*

12) Home now after a quick and lovely dinner with Holly. What a treat. Good conversation and yummy Ramen. Thank you, Holly. :)

13) Spoke with Rob tonight and it seems his Grandma’s surgery went well. YAY!

14) The hilarity of some of the signs one sees around Disneyland. Like this one:



Or this one:



Or um...this one..seriously....wow:



It is time for bed for me. Poor Rob has a flu/cold and sounds awful and I’m fighting a scratchy throat so I think sleep is the plan.

Hope life has been treating you with relative kindness. Hugs abounding!
Tanya