You tasted of vanilla
and moon beams,
Shone
like the
Summer sun
And
I
f
e
l
l
into
the
Abyss
of your charisma
And almost drowned
In your seductive words
And easy charm.
I
was under water
and
over my head
with you.
Because
your wit
played well with mine.
And
our wordlove
intertwined
At all
the right intersections.
Sentences made out in dark alleys
And laughed against each other
with wild abandon in public
And
I
Leaned
into your quicksilver tongue
Thinking all those
slippery words
meant something.
I was
starving
for a like mind
and you
filled all of that hunger
and more.
You sated my mind
and starved my body
and I
couldn't differentiate wordplay
from foreplay.
That was my failing and my undoing.
I see that now.
I wanted
And
you Said
you wanted
but never acted.
And the words ...
Oh...the Words...
they held All the keys
to my locked up desires
and
I
Believed
with all the zealous fervency
born of hope
fueled by mixed messages
and actions that belied a truth
I didn't want to see.
We should have
stayed
what we were really becoming
--- the best of friends.
But your words
spoke of Desire
And my desires
then spoke Words
And
some things
broke
in the middle
(including my tender heart).
At the time
I blamed you for using me ill.
Since then,
I have had time to think
...and have come to fathom
the Truth.
You loved the Idea
me
--The laugh and banter
Ease of me.
And I
Thought
I loved You.
And our Brains --
Our word-happy,
quick-witted
Brains...
They danced together.
They were bosom companions.
They delighted in each other's
swiftness and in the match they found
In the other.
Mine still misses yours
But
with more clarity now.
I hope
you can forgive me
for believing your
sex-charged words
instead of seeing them
for
the continuation
of the verbal tango
that made us such fast friends.
Because I can see now
that That is what they were.
And what We
were meant to be.
6/24/17
For E...written the night before he died.
For E...written the night before he died.
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