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Thursday, December 8, 2011

Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive #68 -- December 8, 2011

I think today might be about remembering that every moment of the day is a different moment, a new moment, and that many things can happen in one day to affect the way I think and feel.  It is up to me to hang on for the ride and remember that in the next moment, something may cheer me up. That I may find something to be thankful for. That a laugh may be shared between friends or strangers. And that it is possible to experience many days within one day.

Overall I'm doing pretty well these days. I realized this afternoon that I haven't written my gratitudes fora  couple of months and that just doesn't feel right. I'm deeply thankful for some positive change that is starting to happen in my life.  I'm working hard to make even more positive change happen.  It seems like things may be shifting a little in that direction (please oh please oh please. *wry grin*), and for that I'm deeply grateful.

These past couple of months (heh..years maybe?) have been long ones.  I have learned a lot about myself during that time.  I have found that pain is a great leveler.  It teaches humility and preaches patience.  I am learning that Raging against it gets me nowhere except for angry and tense...which further exacerbates the pain.

I won't lie.  It sucks to be in pain.  I am learning to find ways that I can work with it and not against it, if that makes any sense.  I don't mean that I plan to accept it, as it were, just that the energy it takes to be mad about it, could be better used by finding a way to make peace with it and to working through it.  I'm starting to feel much better (touch wood) and I'm also aware that with a bulging disk that I'm likely to go through waves of this on and off in my life so I'd best learn good coping skills for when I do.  :) 

I found myself thinking about this a lot while at acupuncture a few weeks ago. I heard my inner voice telling my neck "I love you."  It was an "a-ha" moment for me.  I realized that visualizing my neck as "well" and sending it good energy was a much more useful way to spend my time than resenting how it was.  I suppose this is true across life really.  Sometimes I forget when I'm in pain.  Huh...Yeah.

Let me put it this way:

The truth is that when I'm in pain (whether it be physical or emotional) I forget to be kind to myself.  I forget to take stock of the things that DO work.  I dwell, instead, on the things that don't and get myself further stuck instead of looking for ways out.  Even though I'm unhappy and uncomfortable, it feels safer to stay stuck, than it does to look at and leap at the unknown.  It is easier to stay unhappy sometimes than it is to make change happen.  To give into the unknown as it were, even if the unknown is has the potential to be better and the status quo does not. It is...well...UNKNOWN and therefore scary.  I've stayed in jobs, relationships, friendships, etc. because of that fear.  I don't like living like that and I really don't want to any more so I'm working on making some of that shift.  Honestly, I've done it a lot in my life and it doesn't feel good.  I am trying not to judge myself for it, but I don't want to DO that anymore. I state it because I want to be kept accountable for it.  And to ask for help with it. 

At any rate,  life is (touch wood) seeming to be looking up a little, and that is good.  Hooray!

I'm starting to take some career change workshops through my work and that feels like progress.  I'm loving my friendships and the people in my life as always (which is a remarkable amount).  I'm starting to feel a little bit more like perhaps I can start to do some form of movement again health wise and that is soooo exciting to me.

Plus, I'm really, REALLY enjoying performing at Dickens Fair this year, loving my show, my cast, my friends and my new song.  Feeling good about my performances overall and enjoying the social aspects of it all.  I haven't really performed much this year and the lack of it makes it all that much sweeter because I really chose it this season.  AND, I'm particularly thankful to be there because given the state of my neck in October, I didn't know if I'd be able to do this show at all.  Hooray!

So without further ado, I sing my gratitudes as follows:

1)  For the safety of my friends after car accidents.  I'm so thankful.  So so so thankful. I love you so much. 

2 ) I'm thankful for my family and friends.  You are the biggest and most amazing blessings in my life.

3) SO happy to be feeling like I'm on the mending side of pain.  Looking forward to Yoga again soon.

4) Having a great time doing Dickens Fair this year.  Thankful for my new song and the joy that singing it brings.  It feels great. :)

5) Having Laura Gregory up at Dickens Fair every weekend.  SO good!

6) Anni being her last weekend and getting REAL time with her and going to see Jake Shimabukuro & Leftover Cuties and YAY!

7) Jake Shimabukuro.  He's amazing.  Yep!

8) Career change workshops.  :)

9) Katie & Michael.  Always always always Katie & Michael

10) The chicken soups of the world tour I'm doing this week to try to stave off the scratchy, sore throat I've been fighting since Tuesday.  So far it has been Matzo Ball soup from Saul's, Sopa Azteca from Picante, Chicken Pho from Le Cheval.  I think tonight may be hot & sour soup from Great China, but not sure yet.  It has felt very good and very curative. I feel so lucky to be able to do this.  I know I'm blessed.

11) Cute new hats that make me feel sassy.

12) Beats Antique.  Yum.

13) Secret Squirrel Smiles. :)

14) Friends who are kind enough to understand and say "hey...just take care of yourself" when one is fighting sick foo.  Thanks to all of you this week and always. :)  I think it is working.  *crossing things*

15) Chris.  For a million gazillion reasons, but this week for handing me a computer that is usable after 2 months of not having one at home.  THANK YOU.

16) Kissing.  I am a big fan.  Mmm hmmm. :)

17) Reminders like this: 

I think that is a nice place to end for tonight.  Hooray!

May your days be full of thankfulness. 


  1. I'm very grateful that your music is a part of my daughters's lives. Thank you again for pitching in on TwinSongs, dear.

    Love to your neck (and the rest of you, too)!

  2. Thank you Sweet RJ. Much love to and for you! :)


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