Ac-cent-tchu-ate the Positive #40 -- 3/17/10

It has been a while since I've done this. Sometimes my a.d.d. gets the better of me in terms of these kinds of practices. I go all "squirrel" about them and suddenly I'm standing on the edge of a precipice about a bunch of things in my life and I think to myself..."oh ... duh...I haven't been writing down my gratitudes" and subsequently I find myself having an "I forget" day about how much good is in my world. And there is so so so so so so SO much good. Did I mention SO much? SO MUCH!

How on earth do I lose sight of how blessed I am you ask? I mean it is so obvious that my life is filled with juicy goodness, right? The answer is that I'm human. Fallible. I get lost in my own stuff too. I really do live a life of positivity most of the time but some days I forget. I forget that I'm surrounded by love and acceptance. I forget that I'm rich in friendship and life experiences. I forget that I'm cloaked in a very beautiful life that is full of laughter and affection and love and truth and generosity. I forget that I have a strong, healthy, sensuous body that allows me to do all sorts of amazing things. I forget that I have a graceful home to live in. I forget that I am lucky to be me. I am a little embarrassed to admit it, but I, quite simply, forget.

When that happens I find that writing these helps me immeasurably because I then have a tangible reminder of why I'm so joyful so much of the time. The act of writing it all out reminds me to be joyful. And I really am joyful so much of the time these days. For which, I am thankful. (Ahem... See how this works, Tanya? Ta-da! LOL!)

So yes, I'm thankful for so very much in my life. I am lucky to be the me that I am. I am blessed to have all of you in my life. I am grateful for your love, support, friendship, and never-ending generosity towards me. I do not take you for granted. I really do not.

So now, without further ado, I sing my gratitudes for:

1) Remembering to do this today. I need it. I'm so thankful for this amazing tool I've discovered. It places me back squarely on the path of happiness and contentment most every time, and for that I'm so very grateful. It is hard to feel glum in the face of so many things that I get to be thankful for.

2) For time with my mom this past weekend. Always thankful for that.

3) For the beauty and joy of Chris and Jen's wedding, and for getting to be Best Man in it. Watching two people I love so deeply decide to marry for all of the right reasons and with so much clarity made and makes my heart incredibly happy and hopeful. Happy for them. Hopeful for them. Happy for me. Hopeful for me. It was a fun wedding with laughter and sweetness, sassiness and glee, and lots and lots of love all mingled together perfectly. Congratulations Dear Ones! I love you both so very much!

4) The amazing people I got to meet during the course of the varied wedding festivities. So delicious. Thank you all for being so warm and welcoming! :)

5) Chi. Chi! CHI! I can't believe I get to come and see you in NYC on Friday because of your impulsiveness and generosity! I also can't believe that you got a wild hair to send me a scanner. You crazy, amazing, wonderful woman! Friends since 4th grade and thank the stars for that fact! I can not WAIT to hug you!

6) Being reminded that some tough choices I've made in my life were good ones. Difficult, but good. Phew.

7) My surrogate Aunt Barbara. She is not related by blood, but by the bond of love and by the remarkable friendship she shares with my mother. Her name is Barbara Felton and she is an amazing woman. She was my most constant and favorite surrogate aunt growing up. Dynamic, graceful, classy, beautiful, witty, vibrant and funny -- she shared her love with me and stories about her rather remarkable life. She had Lauren Bacall beauty and Katharine Hepburn spunkiness and I adore her. At 85 she's developing senile dementia and has recently moved to a senior living center in Sonoma. My mother and I went to visit her in a senior center on Saturday and it was so very painful to see her there. Barbara was always a force of nature. Now she is frail and her mind isn't all there. Her humor showed itself during our time with her and that was a true blessing to see. I love her. I always have. I always will. I'm so thankful to and for her remarkable presence in my life and for helping me to grow into the woman I am today. I'm thankful for her. I'm thankful for all of these years I've had with her. I'm thankful I've gotten to know her my whole life and I'm thankful that she exists. Sometimes, it takes a big change for one to spend the minutes it takes to write down the thankfulness...and this? This senile dementia...it can f-ing go straight to hell...but Barbara? I know she's in there ... and I love her...always...with all my heart. I love her am so very grateful to and for her. Yep. I love her.

8) Inger -- because. Thank you for being who you are and who you have always been. Thank goodness for AZ Faire all those years ago. :) I love you so!

9) Flowers in my house. They make me so happy. What a joy!

10) Hard days to remind me how good the good ones are. Yep. Sometimes, much as I hate to admit it, I need to have the rough days too.

11) For the amazingness that is all of you. Truly. This is the biggest gift of all in my life. The precious, amazing, brilliant, talented, funny, kind, wry, goofy, loving, generous, incredible, remarkable, beautiful friends that I am so very blessed to have in my world. Thank you! Truly...thank you.

There are too many specifics for me to write them all, so please just read #11 and know that you're included. Yep. I love you. So much. And am so thankful to and for each and every one of you.

Comment · · Share

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• Elizabeth Rislove Etler, Ethan Hay and 2 others like this.
• • 

    Robyn Ja'net Agpalo Thanks Tanya for the reminder :) I think we all need to accentuate the positive :) Love you! Have a wonderful trip!!

    March 17 at 10:43am ·
  • 

    Darla Gacek Parker YES!

    March 17 at 11:31am ·
  • 

    Karen Mack Eh, forgetting is human. And not not having the sun shine out of you arsehole every second of the waking day is entirely acceptable. Anyway, you might blind someone :D {{{HUGGLES}}}

    March 17 at 11:58am ·
  • 

    Marnie 'Worel' Wilson Loving you!! Have a wonderful trip!!

    March 17 at 12:46pm ·
  • 

    Ethan Hay ‎:)

    March 17 at 12:54pm ·
  • 

    Inger Equality Knudson thank you. from the bottom of my heart and the heart of my bottom. thank you
    xoxo

    March 17 at 1:30pm ·
  • 

    Annika Corley begin_of_the_skype_highlighting end_of_the_skype_highlighting Thank you for sharing this. Your Aunt Barbara sounds like an amazing woman.

    March 18 at 9:24pm ·
  • 

    Michele Schochet Yes :)

    March 18 at 10:12pm ·
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A Life Delicious

There is life,

and then there is
a life delicious.

A life delicious
is lived
by sinking your Self
into it,
all the way
to your soul.

A life delicious
is savored,
rolled around on your tongue;
flavored generously
with appreciation and thankfulness,
stirred with laughter and glee;
sprinkled with clarity and
filled with love and friendship.

A life delicious
overflows with generosity,
percolates with gentleness
bubbles over with patience,;
Is awash in kindness
and is vibrant with light.

A life delicious
bathes you in glory,
robes you in integrity
dresses you in joy
and sends you out into the world
with quiet strength
and a smile in your heart.

A life delicious
is there for the taking,
if you choose to recognize it,
in every moment
of every single day.

Sink into it
Revel in it
You are capable of it
We all are.

A life delicious
Taste it
It is yours....

© Tanya Anguita

Valentine's Day Sunset

Thirsty

The essence of desire

is heady
on my tongue tonight.

I am thirsty
and only you can
slake my want.

I am parched;
burning up,
aching to feel your kisses
flow across my parted lips.

I want to drink you in,
To gulp you down,
To run you over my teeth and
feel you pouring down the back
of my throat.

I wish for drunkenness
and satiation.

I want for nothing but you.

I want to taste you.
To partake of you.
To imbibe from
the complex bouquet
of your passion-warmed lips.

I savor this longing
Like I savor the taste
your skin
in my dreams.

There is salt there,
and warmth
sweetness and want,
and I waken
with a groan on my breath,
and
honey in my mouth.

© Tanya Anguita

Midnight Sonnet

With midnight's toll I pray for sleep to come;
A blessed peace to take me through the night,
But thus I find by thoughts I am undone,
As fancies deep with yearning here take flight.
For then my mind to you oft-times doth speed;
In darkness I may think most any thing.
Salacious thoughts that long to become deeds
Make my breath catch, and yes, my body sing.
In waking dreams that take me to the dawn,
Appetence wears the mantle of desire.
Memories of sweet kisses linger on,
Setting my nerves and aching flesh on fire.
With eyes wide open, all these things I see.
Morpheus, thus elusive, teases me.

© Tanya Anguita

Brave and steady gaze...

Fear

is an ugly monster.
It lives in the basement of the soul.

Fear
is the thing that goes bump in the night.
It gnaws through the foundation of self-worth.

Fear
is is a creature that eats at the spirit.
It slinks away from the light of truth.

Invite Fear in
and you stand to lose yourself.

Shut Fear out
and it beats on the door of your psyche.

Meet Fear's eye
and watch it shrink to nothing before your brave and steady gaze.

© Tanya Anguita

Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive #39 -- 2/04/2010

I've been ruminating on the amazingness that is my life these days. I think that thankfulness is well placed and for that I am....well...thankful! *grin*

The past weeks have been delicious in so many ways. I've done so much. I've been shown again and again how rich this life I've created, and been blessed with, actually is.

In the past two weeks I've danced with Le Cancan Bijou and modeled for Dark Garden Unique Corsetry at the Edwardian Ball on Friday..plus I had the pleasure of Katie's company...which is always a good thing!

I then returned on Saturday to be part of the "Death By Corset" skit. In so doing, I was lucky enough to see great friends, laugh a lot, and witness some remarkable performances by incredibly talented people. I also got to enjoy a laughter-filled 2 a.m. meal with Cat and Peter that did my heart a world of good. I love you both so very much!

I've been to aerial fitness class, had hilarious tea (PANTS) with Emily (yay for new friends!), taken Chris suit shopping for his wedding, rehearsed for silent movie fun several nights, been out to see Cafe Americain at Cafe Trieste, had Tracy & Mike for a visit, enjoyed a wonderful dinner and yummy company Friday, filmed the final two scenes of Bree's silent movie, stayed with Barbara, Leigh & Joe , had Laura and Cameron at my house, met with Siri about my tattoo, had a delicious and delightful dinner with Michelle (thank you Michelle!), got to play with Kayla and Spiderinda (and a python that didn't squeeze me!!! *grin*), and have had two lovely evenings to myself. My life is so very rich and full. I feel that I am wealthy. Truly, truly wealthy.

I was talking with Whitney at the Edwardian Ball on Friday and she was saying that one of her natural resting places in her life is one of gratitude...and that she recognizes that and is grateful for it...and I was so thankful to get to have that discussion with her because it helped me to recognize more clearly that the same is true for me. That one of my natural "return to" places is one of thankfulness...and I'm so incredibly thankful for that fact...and for the ability to recognize it. Hooray!

So without further prattling,and in no particular order,and probably with terrible punctuation *grin*, today I sing my gratitudes for:

1) Lauren for coming to my sports medicine rescue so swiftly when I sprained my ankle at the silent movie shoot on Saturday. I'm healing swiftly and really believe that it is because I got such amazing and immediate care for it. Thank you Lauren. Wherever you are!

2) Anni for my housewarming gift certificate to Bed Bath & Beyond. I have a microwave at last! Woohoo!

3) Elliot -- All I could hear in my head tonight as I wrestled with hanging my curtain rods was your voice saying "next we'll teach you about leverage, darlin' " and I couldn't stop laughing. Thank you so much for all of the delicious laughter. Glad your trip is going well thus far! :)

4) Laura and Cameron for being such amazing post-it faeries. I have been finding post-its with loving and silly messages every where in my house since they left my house on Monday morning. So much win. I love you two so much! Thank you. Every time I think I've found them all I find another...and it makes me giggle all over again. SO MUCH LOVE! By the way...I've left them all where I've found them...so I can find them over and over again. I particularly love the one inside of my fridge. *grin*

5) Whitney -- thank you so much for the glory that is you...and for the conversation we had about gratitude. So good to see you/be with you whenever it happens.

6) Tracy & Mike -- such a lovely visit -- yummy homebrewed ginger beer and wow...who knew..pickled brussel sprouts...kind of tasty. :) Can't wait to see you again!

7) Bree for the opportunity to be a part of your silent movie project. What a wonderful and fun and funny and creative and delightful thing to get to do. So much fun! :) Truly...thank you!

8) Finding two more boxes of cds in my storage. It is like music Christmas! I'm loving re-discovering my hidden stash of tunes. So much yum. :)

9) Karen for your choreography, teaching, dedication and patience with all of us as we sorted out the dancing routines for the movie. You did an amazing job, Dear One! Truly! I applaud you!

10) Katie -- for your love of "girly banter". Thank goodness for that! *giggle*

11) Being able to recognize how juicy my life is. So thankful for that ability. Hooray!

12) Rick Riordan for writing the "Percy Jackson & The Olympians" series. SUCH a fun read!

13) The ways that music moves me -- to joy, to passion, to tears, to heartache, to pathos, to dance, to catharsis. When I'm listening to it and when I'm singing it...it moves me...to feel...to express...to emote, and I'm so incredibly thankful for the release and for the ability to occasionally offer that to someone else with my singing.

14) Chris and Jen -- Simply because. So thankful to and for you both! Looking forward to your wedding. It is going to be so much fun!

15) Thanks so much to Barbara, Leigh & Joe for their kind hospitality, silly conversation and irreverent giggling last Saturday after film shoot craziness. :) It is always a treat to be in your company!

16) And now some photos from the past couple weeks and then...I sleep! Oooo...and tomorrow is Friday! Hooray!

Silent Movie

Silent Movie

Pier Sunset Gloriousness

Sunset in Puddle. :)

Chris and Jen -- Edwardian Ball 2010

Me by Stuart at Cafe Trieste

DG Corset Modeling -- Edwardian Ball 2010

DG Corset Modeling -- Edwardian Ball 2010

Barbara,Jessie & Liz -- The cute is almost overwhelming here!

Resting place of the spirit

My gentle heart

bows to the silence
in homage to its greater wisdom.

Sometimes
quiet is the resting place of the spirit.

Sometimes
peace is sustenance enough.

© Tanya Anguita