Maybe it is time for me to write for me.
Maybe it is time for me to write for others.
Maybe it is time for me to write to free my soul.
Maybe it is time for me to write.
Here I am.
© Tanya Anguita
Reading > cleaning
1 day ago
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Maybe...
Maybe it is time for me to write for me.
Maybe it is time for me to write for others.
Maybe it is time for me to write to free my soul.
Maybe it is time for me to write.
Here I am.
© Tanya Anguita
Friday, June 5, 2009
6/4/09 – Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive #20 -- Picture Heavy
Hello. Here I am again. *waves*
It has been a whirlwind of a week and I haven’t had two minutes to rub together. During the times last weekend when I did have some time, I was busy having fun with Rob at Disneyland and was NOT interested in sitting at a computer. And you know what? I think I’m good with that.
It was a wonderful weekend and a wonderful trip on many, many levels. It was good for my soul, good for our relationship, and good for perspective. It was just plain good all around. Honestly, I wasn’t ready for it to be done. I’m still not ready for it to be done and I’ve been back since Monday. *wry smile*
Re-entry into “normal” life has been very difficult for me. I realized a lot of things as I mourned the end of our weekend and one of them was that I haven’t had a “just go have fun” vacation in years. I’ve never had a pure “down time” adventure before and I need one. My life is too frenetic not to vacate it once in a while.
And I feel a little bit like I have emotional whiplash because I went from 4 days of full time, focused, fun US time to Rob leaving to go up to his family’s property in Montague. We got back Monday, he left Tuesday. *insert cracking whip noise here* I’ve been reeling a little from it, but I’m glad he’s up there helping out his Grandma. She’s having cataract surgery today. Please send her good thoughts.
So yes, re-entry has been difficult, but it is difficult in good ways because I’m recognizing the need for change in my life, and I’m starting to try to figure out how to make change happen in some areas in my life that really need some positive, self-directed change to be made.
It has been a miracle of a week in so many respects and I have so much to be grateful for. My gratitudes for this week/today include:
1) I’m thankful to Rob for choosing to take me with him on his graduation/birthday gift adventure to Disneyland. His mom told him she was giving him money for his graduation/birthday and that he wasn’t allowed to spend it on anything practical so he decided what he most wanted to do was go to Disneyland with me. And we did. What a gift all around. SO thankful. Here he is on the Dumbo ride:
2) I’m incredibly grateful for the reconnection we got to have while we were there and for the good conversations that have come out of that both there and since we’ve been back. :)
3) We…no…let me be honest… *I* haven’t been good about making focused us time happen because of how busy I always am, and that has been detrimental to our relationship. Having the time to reconnect was so good for me/us. I learned that I need to find more time in my schedule for weekends like this last one -- both for my relationship’s sake, and my sanity’s sake. I’m thankful to be figuring that out and thankful to Rob for patiently waiting for me to figure it out. I love you, Sweet One.
4) I’m strangely thankful to and for Disneyland. It was a really a “magic kingdom” for me this past weekend. I don’t ever see myself turning into a “Disney is my life” person, but I definitely see myself trying to get back there with some reasonable regularity. It was such a treat and so much fun to just be a kid all weekend.
California Adventure was pretty fun too!
5) I’m so lucky. Rob is such a good sport. I bought him a silly mouse ears birthday hat and he wore it ALL DAY on his birthday. Evidence is here:
and here:
6) Playing is good for my soul. Allowing myself to just play and not stress or think about the “have to list” is golden. This is us being silly at Rob's Birthday "Character Breakfast" with Stitch:
7) I’m grateful for the questions I’m asking myself because I hope they’ll help me to grow and change. Somehow this photo seems oddly appropriate, or maybe it is just late...
8) Winnie-the-Pooh in all his guises makes my heart happy. I got to have my picture taken with Pooh and Tigger this weekend. I felt like I was 5 years old. Evidence is here:
My mother read “Winnie-the-Pooh” to me as a child and the scene in the book with the Heffalump is one of the earliest memories I have of my mother and me laughing uproariously together. I’ve read it numerous times since, and I learn something new and endearing every time I read it. I love the book first and foremost, and the classic drawings. They are so sweet and simple. That being said, I also have a fondness for the movie version of Pooh and all of the oddness inherent therein. Hooray for Winnie-the-Pooh! Thank you A.A. Milne!
9) The “Hold Hands, Don’t Exercise” tour that Monique, Eileen, Anni & I took a few years ago. I saw this sign over the weekend and had to take a photo in remembrance of our fabulous time together.
I love you women so very deeply! Thank you all for being in my life! Can you believe that was 5 1/2 years ago?
10) I just this minute finished a huge spreadsheet project at work tracking all of the trainings that were done for a specific program we offer to managers and supervisors. I’m both proud of my work and very glad that it is done!
11) Staff meetings happen every other week at my job and are a total farce. As individuals the people in my dept are great. As a group they are frustrating. Our staff meetings sometimes feel like an adult version of “Lord of the Flies” and it is simply ridiculous. People are so invested in being right that they cease to listen. We just finished our bi-weekly staff meeting. I’m so glad that it is over and that I don’t have another one for two weeks. *giggle*
12) Home now after a quick and lovely dinner with Holly. What a treat. Good conversation and yummy Ramen. Thank you, Holly. :)
13) Spoke with Rob tonight and it seems his Grandma’s surgery went well. YAY!
14) The hilarity of some of the signs one sees around Disneyland. Like this one:
Or this one:
Or um...this one..seriously....wow:
It is time for bed for me. Poor Rob has a flu/cold and sounds awful and I’m fighting a scratchy throat so I think sleep is the plan.
Hope life has been treating you with relative kindness. Hugs abounding!
Tanya
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
5/27/09 – Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive #19
Today I am cranky. I had disturbing dreams all night, had a frustrating run in with a woman who I work with occasionally, have been chewing on the inside of my mouth in my sleep so I’m in pain and I’m just plain filled with crankitude.
Sounds like the Perfect time to remember what I’m thankful for today, yes? I think so!
So today my gratitudes include:
1) Deep calming breaths. They can really, really help.
2) Peter’s brilliant idea here: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=84686434769 not sure where to go from here but think it is a great idea and I fully support anything that will fight H8 mongering!
3) Time spent with good friends. Rob and I went over to Cybele and Ryan’s on Sunday for a bbq and had a marvelous time with them. John & Karen joined in the fun and there was much laughter, swimming in a verycoldpool ™, Cybele’s famous crack-amole (guac so good it is addictive…hence crack-amole), Tonks the wonder puppy and her INCREDIBLE cuteness, a viewing of “Real Genius” and a ton of fun across the board. Rob and I spent the night and in the a.m. we had bacon waffles a la Cybele and hung out until early afternoonish. It was a great, great 24 hours and I’m so thankful to and for that time spent with them.
4) Tonks is one of the cutest, snuggliest, funniest little puppies I’ve ever been blessed to spend time with. She rocks my puppy socks. :)
5) Goat Rock Beach. (photos will be posted from home) I hadn’t been in ages and on a whim on the way home from Cybele & Ryan’s, we decided to drive towards the Coast and ended up going to….brace yourselves for this name….Dickmann’s Deli for sandwiches (no, I’m not kidding) and then going up to Goat Rock Beach to hang out for a couple of hours. It was so wonderful and so fun and exactly what the Tanya ordered. It means I didn’t “Get Things Done ™” but really….the world didn’t stop and I felt so happy and calm that I couldn’t care less.
6) Three day weekends are really wonderful things. They allow enough time to really start to wind down from the week and if you lose a day to a migraine you still have two left to have fun with. :)
7) Finding ways to develop good habits. In addition to taking photos most every day, writing these as often as possible and walking the two miles home from work most days, I’m trying to find a good way to make myself drink more water. I’m generally terrible at hydrating and I know that isn’t good for me on so many health levels that it isn’t even funny. My current game plan involves carrying a 48 oz thermosy thing with a splash of juice at the bottom and the rest filled with water. Yesterday I drank the whole thing and then more in the evening. That little splash of juice in the bottom gives enough flavour that I actually want to drink it without adding tons of sugary calories. It seems to be doing the trick. We’ll see. Today I’m moving a little more slowly with it, but I think it might be what I need to get it done. I like the act of trying to develop good habits though. It feels like I’m trying to take care of myself. Wish me luck.
8) Having lunch on workdays with Rob. We got to have lunch together yesterday and it was such a treat. It made my whole day more pleasant and joyful.
9) When I am in a cranky mood, I need to find a funny photo of myself and post it...it makes me giggle and keeps me humble all at the same time. How can I be cranky with a turkey on my head? This photo makes me giggle every time I look at it. Peter took this photo. As a matter of fact many of my favorite silly photos of me come from Peter. Thank you, Peter.
10) Sometimes I enjoy mindless work. I like the satisfaction that slogging through a stack of it and knowing that I’m done with it brings. Mostly the being done with it brings me joy, but sometimes the mindlessness is nice too. *drool*
11) The ubiquitous work glove. One of the janitors leaves his work bucket outside of the restrooms with some regularity. He almost always leaves a work glove on the handle of the mop-wringer as well. There is something about the glove, and the glove’s varied hand positions, that makes me giggle most days.
12) Writing this at work in between other projects has been a great way to keep me focused on the positive and it guarantees that I won’t be writing it at midnight tonight. Maybe I can try to do this more often on days when work isn’t overwhelming. I like that idea. :)
13) Anni and I just came up with a new memoir title and it makes me giggle so I’m sharing… “Hook, Line & Stinker”… *grin*
14) Anni and I also established that are each other’s emotional bras. The comfortable kind of bra with only occasionally pokey underwires. *hee* This makes me giggle in so many ways. YAY Anni!
15) Bubble wrap is fun. Always has been…probably always will be to me. I’ve been putting certificate sin frames wrapped in bubble wrap. I have to keep myself from popping it all. *grin* This is not as fun as real bubble wrap, but I like that it exists:
http://www.virtual-bubblewrap.com/popnow.shtml
16) Photos from Monique, John, Michelle, Robert, Drake, Layla & the Twins! family trip to Kauai. I keep looking at them and grinning. So glad you’re all having fun!
17) I find this fascinating and like the “we can fix this over time” thinking in it http://dsc.discovery.com/news/2009/05/26/whale-shark-ocean.html
18) Knowing when to quit. *grin*
I’ve written so much today that *I’m* almost overwhelmed by it all. I feel much happier now. YAY!
Photos will have to come when I’m home as I don’t have them on this computer at work.
Hugs to you all and Happy Wednesday!
Tanya
Sounds like the Perfect time to remember what I’m thankful for today, yes? I think so!
So today my gratitudes include:
1) Deep calming breaths. They can really, really help.
2) Peter’s brilliant idea here: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=84686434769 not sure where to go from here but think it is a great idea and I fully support anything that will fight H8 mongering!
3) Time spent with good friends. Rob and I went over to Cybele and Ryan’s on Sunday for a bbq and had a marvelous time with them. John & Karen joined in the fun and there was much laughter, swimming in a verycoldpool ™, Cybele’s famous crack-amole (guac so good it is addictive…hence crack-amole), Tonks the wonder puppy and her INCREDIBLE cuteness, a viewing of “Real Genius” and a ton of fun across the board. Rob and I spent the night and in the a.m. we had bacon waffles a la Cybele and hung out until early afternoonish. It was a great, great 24 hours and I’m so thankful to and for that time spent with them.
4) Tonks is one of the cutest, snuggliest, funniest little puppies I’ve ever been blessed to spend time with. She rocks my puppy socks. :)
5) Goat Rock Beach. (photos will be posted from home) I hadn’t been in ages and on a whim on the way home from Cybele & Ryan’s, we decided to drive towards the Coast and ended up going to….brace yourselves for this name….Dickmann’s Deli for sandwiches (no, I’m not kidding) and then going up to Goat Rock Beach to hang out for a couple of hours. It was so wonderful and so fun and exactly what the Tanya ordered. It means I didn’t “Get Things Done ™” but really….the world didn’t stop and I felt so happy and calm that I couldn’t care less.
6) Three day weekends are really wonderful things. They allow enough time to really start to wind down from the week and if you lose a day to a migraine you still have two left to have fun with. :)
7) Finding ways to develop good habits. In addition to taking photos most every day, writing these as often as possible and walking the two miles home from work most days, I’m trying to find a good way to make myself drink more water. I’m generally terrible at hydrating and I know that isn’t good for me on so many health levels that it isn’t even funny. My current game plan involves carrying a 48 oz thermosy thing with a splash of juice at the bottom and the rest filled with water. Yesterday I drank the whole thing and then more in the evening. That little splash of juice in the bottom gives enough flavour that I actually want to drink it without adding tons of sugary calories. It seems to be doing the trick. We’ll see. Today I’m moving a little more slowly with it, but I think it might be what I need to get it done. I like the act of trying to develop good habits though. It feels like I’m trying to take care of myself. Wish me luck.
8) Having lunch on workdays with Rob. We got to have lunch together yesterday and it was such a treat. It made my whole day more pleasant and joyful.
9) When I am in a cranky mood, I need to find a funny photo of myself and post it...it makes me giggle and keeps me humble all at the same time. How can I be cranky with a turkey on my head? This photo makes me giggle every time I look at it. Peter took this photo. As a matter of fact many of my favorite silly photos of me come from Peter. Thank you, Peter.
10) Sometimes I enjoy mindless work. I like the satisfaction that slogging through a stack of it and knowing that I’m done with it brings. Mostly the being done with it brings me joy, but sometimes the mindlessness is nice too. *drool*
11) The ubiquitous work glove. One of the janitors leaves his work bucket outside of the restrooms with some regularity. He almost always leaves a work glove on the handle of the mop-wringer as well. There is something about the glove, and the glove’s varied hand positions, that makes me giggle most days.
2/3/09 -- The Ubiquitous Glove
12) Writing this at work in between other projects has been a great way to keep me focused on the positive and it guarantees that I won’t be writing it at midnight tonight. Maybe I can try to do this more often on days when work isn’t overwhelming. I like that idea. :)
13) Anni and I just came up with a new memoir title and it makes me giggle so I’m sharing… “Hook, Line & Stinker”… *grin*
14) Anni and I also established that are each other’s emotional bras. The comfortable kind of bra with only occasionally pokey underwires. *hee* This makes me giggle in so many ways. YAY Anni!
15) Bubble wrap is fun. Always has been…probably always will be to me. I’ve been putting certificate sin frames wrapped in bubble wrap. I have to keep myself from popping it all. *grin* This is not as fun as real bubble wrap, but I like that it exists:
http://www.virtual-bubblewrap.com/popnow.shtml
16) Photos from Monique, John, Michelle, Robert, Drake, Layla & the Twins! family trip to Kauai. I keep looking at them and grinning. So glad you’re all having fun!
17) I find this fascinating and like the “we can fix this over time” thinking in it http://dsc.discovery.com/news/2009/05/26/whale-shark-ocean.html
18) Knowing when to quit. *grin*
I’ve written so much today that *I’m* almost overwhelmed by it all. I feel much happier now. YAY!
Photos will have to come when I’m home as I don’t have them on this computer at work.
Hugs to you all and Happy Wednesday!
Tanya
Saturday, May 23, 2009
5/23/09 -- Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive #18
Probably my favorite of these signs!
Back in the saddle again….or something. Heh! Had to post the sign above because it is probably my favorite of the lot!
I find that writing and posting these always takes me much longer than I expect. This past week I chose going to sleep before midnight over trying to do these. I have to say that I’ve really missed this process. I just need to find a way to write my gratitudes AND get enough sleep. With my schedule that isn’t always easy.
Regardless, here I am. Ta-da!
It is Saturday morning (er…early afternoon…but it feels like morning still because I’m just now getting up..), and we haven’t yet left for our great, poorly planned, adhd, camping adventure yet. Honestly, I’m okay with that. I think I really needed a morning where I wasn’t hurrying to go somewhere and do something. We’ll go when we go and that will be fine.
So without further pre-gratitude prattling, my gratitudes include:
1) Being okay with doing nothing when I feel like I am supposed to be doing something. I’m very bad at this, and allowing myself the time to just be this morning is very, very good for me.
2) Lazy mornings really rock. Even when I have a migraine.
3) It has been a week of strange dreams for me. I’ve been a prolific dreamer ever since I was a small child. My mother used to ask me about my dreams every morning when I was little and I think this has contributed, over the years, to my having pretty good dream recollection. I’m thankful to her for doing that with me. Some of my dreams this week have been so odd as to be hilarious in terms of them succinctly combining all of my current major stressors into one succinct dream. I’m thankful that I am able to recall dreams and that I can find amusement in them.
4) I repeat the notion that Imitrex and caffeine are minor deities. I’m so grateful for them when I have migraines. I’m also wildly thankful for the many days I don’t have migraines. Phew.
5) I’m beyond thankful that I can read and write. Literacy is a privilege that is denied to so many people and I feel so INCREDIBLY lucky that I am literate.
6) Oatmeal with blueberries and honey just appeared courtesy of Rob. YUM! WOOHOO!
7) I’m thrilled to be at the beginning of a three day weekend. Simply thrilled.
8) Getting issues resolved at work = a huge relief.
9) Starting to seriously consider what I want to do with my work life is both wonderful and scary. I’m thankful that it is starting to happen, and it is bringing up all sorts of esteem issues for me. This is actually great because that means I get to work on those too.
10) Thesaurus.com is one of my favorite websites though I don’t utilize it nearly enough.
11) Dinner and a walk with Amy, Bill & Rob on Thursday = good and good for me. Such a joy.
12) The hilarious conversation I’m having with Anne as I type this about IM acronyms has me laughing aloud at my computer. Thank you, Anne.
There are many more things I’m thankful for, but my head is starting to hurt again so I’m going to stop.
Hugs abounding and have a glorious weekend!
T
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
5/19/2009 – Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive #17
Here I am, sitting on the loveseat with Rob, watching “Notting Hill”, eating banana bread that I made on Sunday, and enjoying a quiet evening at home. It is a lovely, mellow way to spend a Tuesday night.
I’m finding it difficult to write these every day. Not because of a lack of gratitude, but due to a lack of time. I want to write at the end of the day when I have time to reflect, but often don’t have that time until it is so late that I am then torn between sleep and my “gratitudes.” Tonight I’m home at a reasonable time and so I’m writing earlier than usual.
I figure that I’ll just write these as often as I can and try not to feel too guilty for the days I miss. I find so much calming pleasure in the writing of them that I think I’ll just celebrate when I can write instead of bludgeoning myself when I don’t/can’t.
Ah the blessed gratitudes:
1) The kindness you all showed me yesterday with regards to my thoughts about returning to school. Your words were gracious, inspiring, thoughtful, supportive, gentle, and wise. I don’t know how to properly thank all of you, but I was incredibly touched by your well-spoken encouragement, your gentle wisdom and your humour and understanding. Truly, madly, deeply – thank you.
2) Last night was a quiet night with my mom and Rob and it was a thing of beauty.
3) My mom read me a bedtime story for the first time in years. She read “Diary of a Victorian Mouse” and “adapted” it extraordinarily humorously until we were literally crying with laughter and gasping for air. It was one of the most wonderful moments of the whole weekend.
4) Yesterday I had a fabulously reassuring conversation with my manager at work. He provides me a safe-haven of free speaking and kindness and I’m so thankful to and for him. He reassured me that my job is safe, that I’m doing well at it and that people in the department are pleased with me. He also offered to sit in on a meeting with my grand-boss if I want him too/need him to as he knows that my grand-boss isn’t very clear on the big picture sometimes. Thank goodness for Bill and his patient kindness.
5) Lee has not yet moved out but the anticipation of her moving is something I can look forward to.
6) My banana bread is really yummy. I make really good banana bread. Go me!
7) Movies with happy endings. They are heartwarming and joyful in the light of a sometimes difficult world.
8) I bought raffle tickets from children twice this past weekend. On Sunday I bought raffle tickets from a little boy who sings with the San Francisco Boys Choir. I’d so much rather give him $5 for raffle tickets that will help him to do something joyful and artistic than spend it on something silly. His mom, Winona, is a wonderful woman and she was telling me that she hoped this would be something he’d keep up as he grew so that it might help to get him into college some day.
Today I bought tickets from two ADORABLE little girls at the Farmers’ Market. They were charming and polite and gave me a great sales pitch. Again…would rather support their efforts than buy a smoothie or some such thing.
9) I’m thankful to Rob for taking this picture of my mom and me. I really love it. Thank you Rob!
10) I’m reading “The Lightning Thief” by Rick Riordan and am so enjoying it. I’m excited that there are 4 more books in this “Percy Jackson & The Olympians” series. It is making me want to go back and re-read my Greek mythology. I need a brush up. Speaking of which I’m thankful for
11) “D’aulaire’s Book of Greek Myths” It was one of those books that I checked out of the library so many times as a child that the librarian told me that I had to leave it for other children to borrow. I bought myself a copy of it again not too long ago and am looking forward to reading it once again. I love the illustrations in it and the approachable telling of the myths.
12) Giving in to random photographic urges. Yesterday and today I decided to bring my little point and shoot camera with me instead of my DSLR. It has been really fun to carry around with me. Today I got a random urge to keep my camera turned on and to carry it at hip level and take pictures from there when the desire struck me. I ended up with a lot of junk, but took some fun pictures too. Plus it was interesting to see what I was getting. This is one of my faves:
13) I mentioned that Rob and I were extremely silly down by Crissy Field on Sunday. I’m thankful that there is photographic evidence. For your hilarity:
14) I love walking home from work on a sunny day. 2 miles of introspection and/or photography and/or read-walking. So good for my body and my soul.
Ok…sleepy time.
Hugs abounding! T
I’m finding it difficult to write these every day. Not because of a lack of gratitude, but due to a lack of time. I want to write at the end of the day when I have time to reflect, but often don’t have that time until it is so late that I am then torn between sleep and my “gratitudes.” Tonight I’m home at a reasonable time and so I’m writing earlier than usual.
I figure that I’ll just write these as often as I can and try not to feel too guilty for the days I miss. I find so much calming pleasure in the writing of them that I think I’ll just celebrate when I can write instead of bludgeoning myself when I don’t/can’t.
Ah the blessed gratitudes:
1) The kindness you all showed me yesterday with regards to my thoughts about returning to school. Your words were gracious, inspiring, thoughtful, supportive, gentle, and wise. I don’t know how to properly thank all of you, but I was incredibly touched by your well-spoken encouragement, your gentle wisdom and your humour and understanding. Truly, madly, deeply – thank you.
2) Last night was a quiet night with my mom and Rob and it was a thing of beauty.
3) My mom read me a bedtime story for the first time in years. She read “Diary of a Victorian Mouse” and “adapted” it extraordinarily humorously until we were literally crying with laughter and gasping for air. It was one of the most wonderful moments of the whole weekend.
4) Yesterday I had a fabulously reassuring conversation with my manager at work. He provides me a safe-haven of free speaking and kindness and I’m so thankful to and for him. He reassured me that my job is safe, that I’m doing well at it and that people in the department are pleased with me. He also offered to sit in on a meeting with my grand-boss if I want him too/need him to as he knows that my grand-boss isn’t very clear on the big picture sometimes. Thank goodness for Bill and his patient kindness.
5) Lee has not yet moved out but the anticipation of her moving is something I can look forward to.
6) My banana bread is really yummy. I make really good banana bread. Go me!
7) Movies with happy endings. They are heartwarming and joyful in the light of a sometimes difficult world.
8) I bought raffle tickets from children twice this past weekend. On Sunday I bought raffle tickets from a little boy who sings with the San Francisco Boys Choir. I’d so much rather give him $5 for raffle tickets that will help him to do something joyful and artistic than spend it on something silly. His mom, Winona, is a wonderful woman and she was telling me that she hoped this would be something he’d keep up as he grew so that it might help to get him into college some day.
Winona and her boys -- 5/17/09
Today I bought tickets from two ADORABLE little girls at the Farmers’ Market. They were charming and polite and gave me a great sales pitch. Again…would rather support their efforts than buy a smoothie or some such thing.
9) I’m thankful to Rob for taking this picture of my mom and me. I really love it. Thank you Rob!
Mom and me 5/17/09 -- Photo by Robert Doolan
10) I’m reading “The Lightning Thief” by Rick Riordan and am so enjoying it. I’m excited that there are 4 more books in this “Percy Jackson & The Olympians” series. It is making me want to go back and re-read my Greek mythology. I need a brush up. Speaking of which I’m thankful for
11) “D’aulaire’s Book of Greek Myths” It was one of those books that I checked out of the library so many times as a child that the librarian told me that I had to leave it for other children to borrow. I bought myself a copy of it again not too long ago and am looking forward to reading it once again. I love the illustrations in it and the approachable telling of the myths.
12) Giving in to random photographic urges. Yesterday and today I decided to bring my little point and shoot camera with me instead of my DSLR. It has been really fun to carry around with me. Today I got a random urge to keep my camera turned on and to carry it at hip level and take pictures from there when the desire struck me. I ended up with a lot of junk, but took some fun pictures too. Plus it was interesting to see what I was getting. This is one of my faves:
From the Hip -- 5/19/09
13) I mentioned that Rob and I were extremely silly down by Crissy Field on Sunday. I’m thankful that there is photographic evidence. For your hilarity:
Sexy -- 5/17/09
Hawt -- 5/17/09
14) I love walking home from work on a sunny day. 2 miles of introspection and/or photography and/or read-walking. So good for my body and my soul.
Ok…sleepy time.
Hugs abounding! T
Sunday, May 17, 2009
5/17/2009 – Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive #16
I’ve got a case of the I-don’t-want-the-weekend-to-be-done-Sunday-Night-Blues even though I’m sitting here with my beloved mother and Rob enjoying yet another viewing of “Over the Hedge.” I don’t know why it is so difficult for me to just sit in the moment sometimes. I’m feeling a sense of dread and anxiety and I don’t know how to shake it right now.
I had a really nice weekend. I had a lovely weekend. I had a lovely weekend and yet I’m still wandering around hip deep in stress tonight. I find it rather frustrating that I don’t know how to just sit here and be content right now. Ah well. As I keep saying to friends, and I obviously need to remind myself, “There is really no sense making myself feel bad for feeling bad” so I’m just going to accept that I’m not Princess Perky tonight and move forward.
Perhaps writing my gratitudes will help me to sit in what is good and joyful so here I go:
1) I’m thankful for another weekend in the presence of my beloved mommy.
What a treat to see her two weekends in a row. I feel so lucky to have time with her. I wish we lived closer to each other because I’d selfishly like to spend much more time with her, but I’m thankful for the time we do spend. I do know that I’m incredibly lucky to have the relationship I do with her.
2) I was lucky enough to be raised by a group of wonderful women that were my mother’s friends and confidantes. These women served as my surrogate aunts and they hold an incredibly important place in my life and my heart. I got to visit with my surrogate Aunt Barbara today.
Barbara is 84 years old and is a beautiful, kind, funny, brilliant woman. I love her so very much. I’m so grateful to and for her presence in my life. She has always been loving and supportive and wry and fabulous. She has offered me gentle respite and perspective when I’ve needed it, and she is one of the few people in my “family” who shares my less than “safe” humour. She is an amazing woman. I’m very aware of her aging process these days. I have always felt lucky to have her in my life and these days I feel even more blessed each and every time I get to see her. Today was one of those beautiful and blessed days. I am thankful.
3) I got to see the new “Star Trek” movie last night in Emeryville. It was fun, entertaining, and really well done. I like it when a movie surprises me.
4) Rob and I spent some of today lazing about on the grass at Crissy Field and laughing until it hurt. It was so good. We both needed that. Thank you, Sweetheart!
5) Had a lovely brunch adventure with Holly, Rob and Joshua on Saturday despite the incredibly cranky, bad waitress. *wry smile* So fun to be in the company of such marvelous people. Hooray! More soon please?
6) Went to Sakura Sushi on 26th & Clement today while Rob and I were in the City and had excellent sushi. Michael, the Korean owner/chef, is a wonderful man and it was great to see him again and to have such tasty, fresh, yummy fish. The Sakura Special roll is wrapped in cucumber and it is beautiful as well as fabulously flavorful.
7) I made banana bread tonight. It was fun to do. I love to bake. My whole house smells like baking magic in action. Hooray for baking alchemy.
8) Rob just pointed out that I should be thankful for warm sunshine and cool breezes. I am. It was a very hot day but I was incredibly grateful for the ocean breeze once we got out closer to Ocean Beach. So yes, I am thankful for warm sunshine and cool breezes.
9) Yesterday Katie and Claudia came over on a rather impromptu basis to spend time with my mom, Rob, and me. It was really wonderful to be surrounded by so much love and goodness. So much intelligence and so much light. Laughter and good conversations ensued. Those are the kinds of moments where I know in my heart of hearts that life is inherently good.
10) Rob spoke with Lee (our macaw owning, crazy neighbor) and ostensibly she is supposed to move out tomorrow. I’m choosing to believe that this is going to be true and I’m beyond excited and thankful. If the macaws go tomorrow I will be more than pleased. I will be ecstatic. For now, I’m just excited by the notion.
Well…I feel a little saner and much more aware of the good in my life, though the anxiety is still present. I know that tomorrow is a new day and I can now go to bed and to sleep.
With gratitude,
Tanya
I had a really nice weekend. I had a lovely weekend. I had a lovely weekend and yet I’m still wandering around hip deep in stress tonight. I find it rather frustrating that I don’t know how to just sit here and be content right now. Ah well. As I keep saying to friends, and I obviously need to remind myself, “There is really no sense making myself feel bad for feeling bad” so I’m just going to accept that I’m not Princess Perky tonight and move forward.
Perhaps writing my gratitudes will help me to sit in what is good and joyful so here I go:
1) I’m thankful for another weekend in the presence of my beloved mommy.
1/13/09 -- My Beautiful Mommy
What a treat to see her two weekends in a row. I feel so lucky to have time with her. I wish we lived closer to each other because I’d selfishly like to spend much more time with her, but I’m thankful for the time we do spend. I do know that I’m incredibly lucky to have the relationship I do with her.
2) I was lucky enough to be raised by a group of wonderful women that were my mother’s friends and confidantes. These women served as my surrogate aunts and they hold an incredibly important place in my life and my heart. I got to visit with my surrogate Aunt Barbara today.
1/13/09 -- My Beautiful Aunt Barbara on her 84th Birthday
Barbara is 84 years old and is a beautiful, kind, funny, brilliant woman. I love her so very much. I’m so grateful to and for her presence in my life. She has always been loving and supportive and wry and fabulous. She has offered me gentle respite and perspective when I’ve needed it, and she is one of the few people in my “family” who shares my less than “safe” humour. She is an amazing woman. I’m very aware of her aging process these days. I have always felt lucky to have her in my life and these days I feel even more blessed each and every time I get to see her. Today was one of those beautiful and blessed days. I am thankful.
3) I got to see the new “Star Trek” movie last night in Emeryville. It was fun, entertaining, and really well done. I like it when a movie surprises me.
4) Rob and I spent some of today lazing about on the grass at Crissy Field and laughing until it hurt. It was so good. We both needed that. Thank you, Sweetheart!
5) Had a lovely brunch adventure with Holly, Rob and Joshua on Saturday despite the incredibly cranky, bad waitress. *wry smile* So fun to be in the company of such marvelous people. Hooray! More soon please?
6) Went to Sakura Sushi on 26th & Clement today while Rob and I were in the City and had excellent sushi. Michael, the Korean owner/chef, is a wonderful man and it was great to see him again and to have such tasty, fresh, yummy fish. The Sakura Special roll is wrapped in cucumber and it is beautiful as well as fabulously flavorful.
7) I made banana bread tonight. It was fun to do. I love to bake. My whole house smells like baking magic in action. Hooray for baking alchemy.
8) Rob just pointed out that I should be thankful for warm sunshine and cool breezes. I am. It was a very hot day but I was incredibly grateful for the ocean breeze once we got out closer to Ocean Beach. So yes, I am thankful for warm sunshine and cool breezes.
9) Yesterday Katie and Claudia came over on a rather impromptu basis to spend time with my mom, Rob, and me. It was really wonderful to be surrounded by so much love and goodness. So much intelligence and so much light. Laughter and good conversations ensued. Those are the kinds of moments where I know in my heart of hearts that life is inherently good.
10) Rob spoke with Lee (our macaw owning, crazy neighbor) and ostensibly she is supposed to move out tomorrow. I’m choosing to believe that this is going to be true and I’m beyond excited and thankful. If the macaws go tomorrow I will be more than pleased. I will be ecstatic. For now, I’m just excited by the notion.
Well…I feel a little saner and much more aware of the good in my life, though the anxiety is still present. I know that tomorrow is a new day and I can now go to bed and to sleep.
With gratitude,
Tanya
Saturday, May 16, 2009
5/15/2009 – Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive #15
Friday, Friday, Friday. It has been a long week somehow -- despite my only working 4 days this week -- and I’m very glad that the weekend is here. Rob and I are sitting on the couch watching a couple of episodes from the first season of “Amazing Stories” and I’m writing as I watch. I’d forgotten how charming this series is. We just watched “The Mission” and then “Alamo Jobe” and now I’m fading so I’ll write swiftly.
My gratitudes include:
1)The wonderful evening that I shared last night with Chris, Jen, Rob and Zak. Thank you all for much laughter, excellent food, and beloved company. What a blessed treat. I love you all. Truly.
2) I am so incredibly lucky that I get to have and keep my amazing friendship with Chris. Not many people I know get to have their ex-partners as one of their best friends, but I’ve been so incredibly blessed in this regard with Chris. He is an incredible man, a kind person, a bright light in my life and one of the people I love and cherish most in the world. I’m so deeply grateful to and for him. I don’t know how to find all of the right ways to thank him for being in my life, so this will just have to do for now. I really love you, Dear One. Thank you a million zillion times for being my friend.
3) Getting to know Jen. She is a true delight. She is warm and friendly and comfortable and gorgeous and funny and super smart. I think she is the bee’s knees and I’m so glad to have a new friend. *smile* Plus she makes one of my best friends really happy and that rocks. Witness their cuteness here:
4) I’m thankful for the hilarity that was me collecting some of the last of my belongings from Chris last night. There was kindness and comedy involved and I’m thankful.
5) I reorganized the kitchen tonight to make space for said belongings and I’m so relieved to have everything in better and tidier order.
6) The anticipation of making banana bread tomorrow.
Sounds a little strange, but I’m really looking forward to baking.
7) I’m vaguely entertained by the way my brain works with the process of learning songs and dances. It seems that I only get a song or tune stuck in my head until I know all of the lyrics/the tune/the dance it belongs to. Once I’ve actually memorized the song or the dance, I never get the song stuck in my head again. What this means for me right now is that I have several songs for Queen Anne’s Revenge (“The Red Queen” and “Fisherman’s Wife”) going through my head, songs from my voice lessons with Scarlett going through my head (currently “I’m Not That Girl” from “Wicked” and “O Mio Babbino Caro”), and that the medley they’re creating is something strange and fantastical. I do find it entertaining though that my brain works this way.
8) I’m so glad I have indoor plumbing. I swear! Hooray for hot water, showers and flush toilets. :)
9) The feeling of taking off my shoes after a long day. I can hear my feet sing with the relief of it all and it feels like relaxing from the ankles down.
10) Noticing silly things like this for my Highland Dancer friends and having my camera handy:
Hope that made you giggle a little, Anni, Charity, Krista, Teri, Dougie and Joshua! *grin*
Many hugs and now sleep,
Tanya
My gratitudes include:
1)The wonderful evening that I shared last night with Chris, Jen, Rob and Zak. Thank you all for much laughter, excellent food, and beloved company. What a blessed treat. I love you all. Truly.
2) I am so incredibly lucky that I get to have and keep my amazing friendship with Chris. Not many people I know get to have their ex-partners as one of their best friends, but I’ve been so incredibly blessed in this regard with Chris. He is an incredible man, a kind person, a bright light in my life and one of the people I love and cherish most in the world. I’m so deeply grateful to and for him. I don’t know how to find all of the right ways to thank him for being in my life, so this will just have to do for now. I really love you, Dear One. Thank you a million zillion times for being my friend.
3) Getting to know Jen. She is a true delight. She is warm and friendly and comfortable and gorgeous and funny and super smart. I think she is the bee’s knees and I’m so glad to have a new friend. *smile* Plus she makes one of my best friends really happy and that rocks. Witness their cuteness here:
Witness the Cute!
4) I’m thankful for the hilarity that was me collecting some of the last of my belongings from Chris last night. There was kindness and comedy involved and I’m thankful.
5) I reorganized the kitchen tonight to make space for said belongings and I’m so relieved to have everything in better and tidier order.
6) The anticipation of making banana bread tomorrow.
2/2/09 -- Banana Bread
Sounds a little strange, but I’m really looking forward to baking.
7) I’m vaguely entertained by the way my brain works with the process of learning songs and dances. It seems that I only get a song or tune stuck in my head until I know all of the lyrics/the tune/the dance it belongs to. Once I’ve actually memorized the song or the dance, I never get the song stuck in my head again. What this means for me right now is that I have several songs for Queen Anne’s Revenge (“The Red Queen” and “Fisherman’s Wife”) going through my head, songs from my voice lessons with Scarlett going through my head (currently “I’m Not That Girl” from “Wicked” and “O Mio Babbino Caro”), and that the medley they’re creating is something strange and fantastical. I do find it entertaining though that my brain works this way.
8) I’m so glad I have indoor plumbing. I swear! Hooray for hot water, showers and flush toilets. :)
9) The feeling of taking off my shoes after a long day. I can hear my feet sing with the relief of it all and it feels like relaxing from the ankles down.
10) Noticing silly things like this for my Highland Dancer friends and having my camera handy:
Hope that made you giggle a little, Anni, Charity, Krista, Teri, Dougie and Joshua! *grin*
Many hugs and now sleep,
Tanya
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