All photos and content © Tanya Anguita.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

5/12-13/09 – Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive #14

I’m several days from the last time I wrote one of these, and it is blazingly apparent how easy it is to slip back into my cranky, whiney, bad attitude. Talk about an affirmation that doing these is helping me and my outlook!! Wow!

I woke up on the wrong side of bed this morning, having spent the night waking up every 2 hours with anxiety attacks over work, life, etc. Nix that, I woke up on the wrong side of the HOUSE. Wrong side of the bed would have been easy! Subsequently, I’ve been cranky and out of sorts and grumpy and anxious and un-comfy in my skin and freaked out all day.

In an attempt to mitigate that, I’m here and already feel calmer simply for simply having started to write. Hooray for personal therapy in action. *grin*

5/13/09 – Accentuation Continued

Heh…well…so much for finishing yesterday. *blush* Shot this up in Mountain Ranch this weekend and thought it rather fitting:

I’m still kind of anxiously grumping along today so here I am writing. Catharsis is good, yes?

I had a wonderful weekend up in Mountain Ranch visiting my folks. Rob and I were supposed to go up Friday but it wasn’t convenient for Conrad (my step-dad) so Rob and I went and saw “Auntie Mame” at the Paramount Theatre in Oakland and drove up Saturday instead. “Auntie Mame” is made of awesome and I can’t wait to see it again! The writing and deadpan delivery are so amazing!

The trip up was delayed by a 1 ½ hour stop for an oil change and, as it turns out, a transmission fluid change at Jiffy Lube in Castro Valley. I found this pretty funny given the “come in, no wait!” sign. We eventually got to my folks’ house at around 2:30 and a weekend of fun relaxation ensued. Saturday we went to a presentation at the community center on the history of Mountain Ranch told through slides and it was fabulous and fun. Ran into an old teacher and someone I knew in high school. Sunday was Mother’s Day and after a lovely breakfast and some gift giving, we all took a nap, followed by my helping Conrad for 5 ½ hours with leaf raking, dragging brush and doing a burn. It was satisfying work and my body still aches a little from it. I took Monday off from work and spent the day up there. The first few hours of the day my mom was at a Book Club meeting and Conrad had already gone to work so Rob and I had the place to ourselves and we spent our time talking and lazing around. We went to Sender’s Market and picked up sandwiches and work gloves and weed eater line and headed back to the house just in time to meet up with my mom and have a lovely afternoon talking and hanging out. Oh … and hunting around for a tent which she loaned/gave to us. We got back on the road at about 4:30 and made it home swiftly and safely just in time for a fairly relaxed evening.

Boy…I’m babbling. How about I stop the litany and just say that my gratitudes for the past few days include:

1) Visits with my beloved parents. Good and good for me. I am so lucky. SO blessed and so lucky.

2) That I was blessed enough to be born to Margaret Rose Osgood Levasseur and that I can truly be thankful on Mother’s Day for that fact and for and to her. She is a wonderful, gracious, loving, generous, gentle, smart, beautiful and incredibly kind mother and woman. Thank you Mommy.

3) Learning flexibility isn’t always easy for me but deciding to go to see “Auntie Mame” instead of feeling sad and sorry that I couldn’t go home on Friday night was the right thing to do on so many levels.

4) Oakland’s Paramount Theater is beautiful. A fully restored Art Deco Movie Palace is something that shouldn’t be missed! Going to see old movies there is fun and only costs $5. This includes a raffle ticket that you can win prizes with. What isn’t to like?

5) “Auntie Mame” is a well crafted film with great humour and some fun lessons about what is and isn’t “acceptable” and I am so glad I got to see it.

6) Having a partner who also is a certified mechanic makes trips to the oil changer much easier. When they try to up-sell him he can genuinely tell if what they’re suggesting is necessary or not and move forward or not accordingly. Thank you, Rob.

7) Thank you also for paying for my transmission fluid to be changed. I hadn’t budgeted for that and I wasn’t sure how I was going to swing it. Mille grazie!

8) Being able to celebrate mother’s day with my mother. It was a wonderful gift to be able to do that and I’m so thankful.

9) Working with Conrad in the yard and knowing that what I was doing was genuinely helpful and useful to both of my parents. We got into a great groove together and got a lot accomplished. I’m proud of the work we did. I’m proud that I got to help just a little. (Yep...I raked all of the leaves on this hill and then I hauled them all to the bottom and helped to burn them all too!)

10) Thankful that we don’t have to buy a tent now. YAY!

11) Fresh strawberries bought from the field they were picked in. Nuff said.

12) The incredible quiet that exists at my folks’ house. There is something so soothing to my soul when the only sounds I hear are made by nature. No hum, no buzz, no horns, just quiet and crickets and squirrels, birds and the occasional bee. Oh…and how can I forget the humourous snorts and snuffles of the wild pig rooting in the middle of the night behind the building in which we were sleeping . *grin*

13) Sometimes anxiety attacks really can only be soothed by Ativan. I’m glad Ativan exists. I haven’t taken one in so long that my prescription is a month or two expired, but I took 1 last night anyway, and finally got some real sleep. Groggy all day, but well worth it.

14) Being groggy all day. It reminds me why I so rarely resort to Ativan or anything else of the sort and keeps me from using it more often.

15) Deeply thankful that I did not inherit my father’s problem with alcohol or any other substance. I just don’t find that any substance compels me to use/take/imbibe or otherwise abuse it. I thank my lucky stars for that fact on a very regular basis.

16) Chile Jalapeno on San Pablo Avenue. It is a wonderful Mexican restaurant recently purchased and overhauled by Abel & Carmen who are a delightful duo. Their food is excellent and reasonably priced, the service is great and the prices can’t be beat for the quality of the food you get there. If you want yummy food and friendly service you really should check them out. 6706 San Pablo Avenue. Yum Yum!

17) Friends who are both understanding and gracious when you have to reschedule with them because spending time with family is important. Thank you Ariyana!

18) The fun and camaraderie of a pleasant rehearsal is such a heart-blessing.

19) Rico’s continued sharing of his work on himself is such a beautiful and encouraging and brave thing. Thank you Rico! You inspire me!

20) Visiting and working with wonderful friends to help tear down space at Nimby last night was good for my soul and it helped me to get some muscle soreness to loosen a little.

21) Anni's incredible post about her mother. It moved me to tears and made all the more thankful for my life. I'm so in awe of you and your ability to express things the way you do, Dear One! Truly in awe!

22) Meeting Louellen up in Mountain Ranch. She's 85 years old and was born and raised there. I learned many interesting things from her including the fact that her son was responsible for one of my favorite trees. See below.

Also was touched by her warmth in inviting us into her home to show us all of her treasures, including this guitar that her grandfather made.

23) I deeply appreciate fun reminders from the Universe like this one that I found while walking through Campus:

Reminder :)

24) Being back on the Gratitude bus is a lovely thing..

Hugs to you all and sweet dreams!

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